How to Stand in Line in a Manner That Advances Civilized Society

Example 1:

Quite frequently, I visit a certain Dunkin Donuts location and a certain TD Bank branch. Neither of them have chosen to use ropes and posts to guide people into an orderly line. The result is quite confusing.

While the person in front of me is fiddling on their smart phone, comfortably out of body odor range of the person ahead of them, I am usually standing with my heels touching the barely closed door of the establishment.

If someone comes in behind me, it makes me look like the obstruction.

If only we, as humans, were able to stand within 1 foot of each other in such lines, we could avoid this scenario and all fit indoors in an orderly fashion.line spacing people

 

Prescribed remedy: Unless the person in front of you is farting or visibly intoxicated, stand no more than an arms length away.

 


 

Example 2:

This happens frequently in Concord. I’ll be at a stop light or stop sign – or even a drive through – and the person in front of me leaves and excessive gap between their car and the car in front of them, quite frequently causing some unnecessary blocking of traffic, intersections, or preventing me from reaching the drive through ordering menu.line spacing cars

 

Prescribed remedy: Unless the vehicle in front of you is giving off excessive emissions or the driver visibly intoxicated, stop no more than 1/2 car length behind them.

That one time I witnessed a fatal air show crash…

I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life. I grew up in a quiet, somewhat isolated part of the county, with low crime and friendly neighbors. Nothing big usually happens there. And likewise, despite the professional and travel experiences I’ve been privileged to have, I’ve stayed out of the way of major events. They say we remember bad/intense experiences better than most because the adrenaline burns them into our memory. 28 years later, I can still remember this very vividly.

Flash back to May 25th, 1986. Every year, the local airport, Berlin Municipal Airport (KBML) had an airshow. The runway way long enough that they could host some fairly large and interesting planes, military and private.

That year, one of the performers was the Flying Farmer – Bob Weymouth of Dresden, ME (pictured above). Typical stunt pilot in an older model fixed wing, single prop plane. In this case it was a 1946 Piper J3C-65, doing the typical dips, climbs, rolls and other common maneuvers. Weymouth was apparently a very experienced pilot with decades of stunt shows in this plane on his resume. (more…)

If you hold onto the treadmill, you’re clearly a zombie in training.

Running on a treadmill is unnatural in and of itself. It does nothing to prepare you for the reality of running outdoors. If your plan is to be in shape in case you need to run away from a zombie attack, you’ll be trained to run on a flat, impact absorbing rubber belt with no encumbrances – like gravel, curbs, etc. You won’t be trained to run in the real world.

Nothing frustrates me more than seeing people bastardize the process even further by holding on to the treadmill whilst running or walking. Not only are your cheating your feet, you’re cheating your entire upper body and balance mechanisms.

There is no value to training your body to run or walk with your arms in a stationary position, perpendicular to your torso.  Unless that is your goal. So the question arises, who needs to train in a manner so that they can run or walk with their arms out in front of them? Zombies.

Don’t train to be a zombie. Train to run away from them.